[offering Monty a glass] Marwood: That's what you say. The only programme I'm likely to get on is the f***ing news. I'm not going to understudy anybody. Please don't. Marwood: (Voice-over) I could hardly piss straight with fear. Find the exact moment in a TV show, movie, or music video you want to share. Monty: Withnail: Marwood: Right, now we're going to have to approach this scientifically. Withnail: I'm not gonna understudy anybody. I don't know what's in here. Marwood: Marwood: It's impossible to use 12 papers on one joint. Marwood: I didn't call you inhumane. And yet, to me, what is this quintessence of dust? Dead down the drain? [narrating over scene] Jake: Marwood: Withnail: For all of us, quotes are a great way to remember a book and to carry with us the author's best ideas. [a poacher enters the pub with pheasants stuffed under his coat, making him look like a hunchback]. Marwood: Marwood: Shut that gate and keep it shut! Withnail: I'll not have this shag sack insulting me! You've got a rush. Especially that. Headhunter to everyone. Monty: Do you mean you've been up here in all this beastly mud and oomska without Wellingtons? Federal judge sentences Massachusetts man to probation for running It's society's crime, not ours. No more than you have. Black puddings are no good to us. Where's the aspirins? Monty: Withnail: [reading graffiti] Withnail: Free to those who can afford it, very expensive to those who can't. Danny: DRIVE WITH EXTREME CARE"] Keep back, keep back! Yes, as a matter of fact I have. Withnail: (He spits out a globule of phlegm) Jesus, look at that. Withnail: [Withnail and Marwood are lying in bed together, listening to a man coming inside the cottage. Cooking's one of the natural instincts. Danny: Withnail: Will it? [Mr Parkin is sitting on his tractor with one leg wrapped from thigh to ankle in a plastic fertiliser bag. Withnail freezes in terror with a mouthful of pie]. Jake: Withnail: If you're hanging on to a rising balloon, you're presented with a difficult decision let go before it's too late or hang on and keep getting higher, posing the question: how long can you keep a grip on the rope? Oh God, it's a nightmare, I tell you, it's a nightmare. There can be no true beauty without decay. I can never touch meat until it's cooked. He leans up close to her, speaking into to her hearing aid]. An expert on bulls you are not! Withnail: You've got soup. And how dare you tell him I love you?! Don't suppose you've engaged, have you? [ripping Withnail's tartan scarf off his neck] . Hare. Withnail: The thermostats! Listen, you young prat. Danny: He used to pick on me. *Bastards*! Burnt! ", Oh! Marwood: Withnail: Why don't you wash up occasionally like any other human being? Forgive me, it was inconsiderate of me not to have telegrammed. That's what I want to know! Bastard asked me to understudy Konstantin in The Seagull. [the drunken, elderly pub landlord opens the till and it hits it him the chest and he almost falls down]. Be seated. If I lay 10 mils of diazepam on you, it will do something else to your brain. Best 25 Withnail And I Quotes By Bruce Robinson 2023 Monty: There's a man over there that doesn't like the perfume, the big one. Withnail: Sulking up the hill. Uncle Monty: Here hare here here hare here! - Quotes.net We'll be found dead in here next spring. If you don't remember the sixties, don't worry neither did they. Here comes another fucker! According to these instructions, you refuse everything but a urine sample. I might fetch you up a rabbit. [eyes filling with tears] Those are the kind of windows faces look in at. Withnail: Sod your pheasants! If I medicined you, you'd think a brain tumour was a birthday present. I feel unusual. Withnail: Then the f***er will rue the day! Speed, is like a dozen transatlantic flights without ever getting off the plane Time change. We are multimillionaires. Nor women neither. That's worse than meths! Were incompatible. Withnail: You mean we've come out here in the middle of f***ing nowhere without aspirins? This is a device enabling the drunken driver to operate in absolute safety. It's trying to get itself in with you, it's trying for even more advantage! I must go home at once and discuss his problems in depth. Marwood: Jesus Christ! Withnail is walking him to the station in the heavy rain, they stop and look at each other. I happened to be looking for a suit for the Coalman two weeks ago. Black puddings are no good to us. [looking at a newspaper] Withnail: You've had an audition. Withnail And I GIFs - Find & Share on GIPHY Why don't I get any soup? Marwood: The school in fiction Poetry. She got a doll on Christmas what pisses itself. Best kill it quick before it tries to make friends with us. Plot - Withnail and "I" - the narrator - are two aspiring actors and friends who are looking for a job in London without success. Scrubbers! And it isn't his fault he cannot love you any more than it's mine that I adore you. Marwood: Dont vent your spleen on me. He's an expert. Withnail: How should I know where we are? And we want them here, and we want them now! I say, you know what we should do? I could take double anything you could. Danny: I'm utterly arseholed. Sort: Relevant Newest # withnail and i # withnail and i # game of thrones cast # drunks # multimillionaires # gotcha # dave chappelle # i will # gotcha bitch Tactical necessity. Danny: Do as he says. Marwood: We are indeed drifting into the arena of the unwell. [leaning out the car window] Danny: 2010 Drama 24M views 2 years ago Uncle Monty - the end of an age ohheckforgotusername 157K views 11 years ago Withnail & I 30. They're selling hippie wigs in Woolworth's, man. For reasons I can't really discuss with you. Danny: I happened to be looking for a suit for The Coalman two weeks ago. If I hear more words out of you, I'll put one of these here black pods on you. Withnail: Monty: This is a court, man. [They drunkenly barge into some tearooms]. Survey of rural types. Jake: Marwood: Give it a chance. Withnail: Withnail and I Quotes Miss Blennerhassett, telephone the police. Well, I'd hardly say that. [Monty's Rolls-Royce pulls up outside the window]. You got to throttle him. STANDS4 LLC, 2023. Where did you school? What had I done to offend him? The movie, which takes place in England in late 1969, involves the misadventures of a pair of chronically unemployed actors. Withnail: I adore you. Alright, we're going to have to work quickly. Withnail: Web. I suggest you both go outside and discuss it sensibly, in the street. They walk down to the cottage. Withnail: Old suit?! Hairs are your aerials. Having said that, I now intend to leave for London. I'm not having this shag-sack insulting me! We shall buy this place and fire you immediately. Marwood: They're selling hippie wigs in Woolworth's, man. I've looked into it. They can handle the kaftan, they can't handle the bell. Marwood: [fondling the money Monty has given them to buy Wellingtons] Listen to this. You got a rush. The Withnail and I film script contains a virtually non-stop array of one-liners from all the main characters - and for this reason the film is often touted as being one of the most quotable films ever made. *Scrubbers*! Anyway, I loathe those Russian plays. I had to come. Withnail: Afrika Korps. When that moment comes, one's ambition ceases. I say, you know what we should do? Now, come along, I'm going to teach you how to peel a potato. Prostitutes for the bees. Then you get horribly drunk and they can't fucking touch you. We live in a kingdom of reigns, where royalty comes in gangs. The beauty of the world. Marwood: Then you gotta change its drawers for it. I think an evening at The Crow. Monty: I'm in the middle of a bloody overdose! Find helpful customer reviews and review ratings for Gold, Guns and God: Swami Bhaktipada and the West Virginia Hare . Withnail: I assure I'm not [drunk], officer, honestly, I've only had a few light ales. Trade: Phenodihydrochloride benzorex. Ah! We want them here and we want them now! Murder and All-Bran and rape. Dealt with them? I feel unusual. How infinite in faculties! Monty: General: The fuel and wood situation. Monty: Surrounded by trees and nature one feels a *glorious* stirring on the senses, a rejection of *poisonous* inhibition, and a *fecund* motion of the soul. Marwood: (Voice-over) Thirteen million Londoners have to wake up to this. And how dare you tell him you rejected me?! Danny: withnail and i 96119 GIFs. The wankers on site don't drink it because they can't afford it! Withnail: All right, this is the plan. Be seated. What makes you possibly think I've got anything for your pot? Talk:Withnail and I. [shouts out of the car window at a man standing on the pavement]. Got a bit carried away. We'll buy this place and have it knocked down! And this one has a definite imbalance of hormone in him. He can eat his fucking radish. Go with it. I can never touch meat until it's cooked. Marwood puts his hand on Withnail's shoulder]. Please explain the joke from Withnail and I : ExplainTheJoke Here it is: Movie Drone: I Heart - Withnail And I moviedroneblog.blogspot.com. Marwood: We are not drunks, we are multi-millionaires! I feel like a pig shat in my head. I dislike relatives in general and in particular mine. Withnail: He's going into your room. I've got a bastard behind the eyes. Here was a man with 3/4 of an inch of brain who'd taken a dislike to me. Withnail: Come on, old boy. Withnail: Why didn't I get any soup? Withnail: Withnail: Hey, give us a wheeze on that fag. This is the reason bald-headed men are uptight. This doll is extremely dangerous; it has voodoo qualities. Curious Myths of the Middle Ages by Sabine Baring-Gould - Complete text Danny: Warm up? Withnail and I Quotes by Bruce Robinson - Goodreads Uncle Monty: Get that damned little swine out of here! tags: humour, withnail-i. I'm a trained actor reduced to the status of a bum. I've only had a few ales. You shouldn't treat each other so badly.